Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Ezekiel 4: Eat Poop


As I've mentioned in previous posts, God occasionally has his prophets perform little object lessons for the Israelites to make His messages absolutely clear. Like when God forces Hosea to marry a prostitute to describe God's relationship with the people--who have been whoring after other deities. As is apparent, these little skits are everything but subtle.

But God makes one prophet in particular, Ezekiel, run these charades with some frequency, thus turning him into the Lord's very own kindergarten teacher for remedial-level Israelites. But unlike the cute lessons you learned in pre-school show-and-tell, Ezekiel's lessons are gross and degrading.

For instance, in 5:1-5, Ezekiel must shave off all his hair and then 1) burn some, 2) cut some with a sword, and 3) scatter some--to show that different Israelites will have different fates when divine calamity strikes. At another point, God has him lay on one side for 390 days to indicate the number of years--also 390--that the Israelites will suffer God's wrath (Ezekiel 4:4-5). And then there's the time when God makes Ezekiel tie himself up and lock himself in his house, to show that the people won't listen to prophets any more (3: 25-26).

But as absurd as some of these lessons are, God saves his most disgusting for Ezekiel 4:12.

This passage takes place during the 390 days (that's over a year, people!) when Ezekiel is lying on his side. (I hope that the prophet isn't a back-sleeper.) During that time, the Lord suggests--well, demands--that the prophet observe certain dietary restrictions:

"And you, take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them into one vessel, and make bread for yourself" (4:9) Not so bad, right? Whole grains are good for heart health! Well, wait ... God continues, "You shall eat it as a barley cake, baking it in their sight on human dung" (4:9-12). Yup, that's right ... on human dung. For over a year, Ezekiel must eat food that has been prepared over burning feces.

All of which makes the absolutely real Ezekiel 4:9 organic bread pictured above sound a little yucky, right? And hilarious! Biblical literacy is important, food movement!

But why does God make Zeke expose himself to airborne e. coli like that? Well, the Lord continues, "Thus shall the people of Israel eat their bread, unclean, among the nations to which I will drive them" (4:13). In other words, when God throws his people out of the holy land (as He shortly will), they will have to eat unclean food among unclean foreigners. (At some point during this time, God--perhaps seeing the cruelty of his ways--allows Ezekiel to cook his food over cow dung. Thank heaven for small mercies, right?)

But couldn't he let Ezekiel just say as much? Deliver a sermon on the temple steps where he cries, "If you continue in your ways, God will throw you out of Israel, and you'll have to eat poop!" Wouldn't that be sufficiently startling?

And isn't this months-long piece of performance art exquisite torture for poor Ezekiel, whose only mistake seems to be accepting God's call to prophecy?

The answer to both of these questions is undeniably "yes," but we have to realize that God is at wit's end by Ezekiel's age--and at a point where He must go to extremes in trying to reach out to the people of Jerusalem.

Ezekiel was likely written in the run-up to the Babylonian exile, during which time God is forced to sink to new lows in speaking to a people whose sins have brought them to the brink of disaster. Reverting to simple shock value, God--through Ezekiel--therefore treats his people as addled pre-teens, and He'll try anything to get their attention.

Of course, He'll fail. Or perhaps more correctly, the Israelites will fail to get the point--scatologically obvious though it is. For the disasters of 586 B.C.E.--with the invasion of the Babylonians and the destruction of the temple--are nearly upon them. And all of Ezekiel's poop-eating will be for naught.

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