Wife Beating?

 

Assalamu Alaikum

 

Does the Qur’an give a freedom pass for men to beat their wives? Apparently so, according to Christian. They make the claim Surah 4:34 makes it permissible  for men to beat their wives.

The question is, what does the Qur’an say? Note: this would be a short response nothing academic. Let us take a closer look and see if the claim made by Christians is true.

Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance – [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.

(Surah 4:34)

 

Notice the verse starts by stating how men are the protectors and maintainers of women through their wealth and Allah Swt has given them the advantage of the other. Men must provide for them wives there is no compromises for that. In fact, we have an authentic hadith where if a man does not provide for his wife and children then his wife can take from his wealth without asking him.

 

Narrated `Aisha:

 

Hind bint `Utba said, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! Abu Sufyan is a miser and he does not give me what is sufficient for me and my children. Can I take of his property without his knowledge?" The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Take what is sufficient for you and your children, and the amount should be just and reasonable.

 

(Sahih al-Bukhari 5364)                              

Moving back to the verse in question. Righteous women are devoutly obedient, they guard their chastity in the absence from their husband i.e., they would not do something which is deemed impermissible. Note for the former part this segment is referring to the righteous women. Now we move to the women who is not being righteous.

 

If the man [husband] fears “ill conduct” from his wife then let him first advice/admonish her, forsake them in bed i.e., do not be intimate as one would sharing the same bed, and if the matter is not solved then let him strike them [wife] but if they obey you seek no means against them Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.

 

The verse is clear on how a husband should act towards an ill conduct wife. Firstly, as a Sunni Muslim I follow both Qur’an and Sunnah. If I bring any explanation, it will be from the Qur’an and the teachings and saying of Prophet Muhammed Pbuh alongside what the Salaf have said as mentioned in the Qur’an.

 

O you who have believed, obey Allah and obey the Messenger and those in authority among you. And if you disagree over anything, refer it to Allah and the Messenger, if you should believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is the best [way] and best in result. (Surah 4:59)

 

In order to understand this verse, we must acknowledge the Qur’an was revealed in Arabic language [Surah 12:2] not English hence, we must go back to the original language to get a better, concise, elaborate understanding.

 

The question remains, does the Qur’an sanction wife beating? How was this explained by our Beloved Prophet Muhammed Pbuh. What did he say regarding this verse? After all the Prophet Muhammed Pbuh is instructed to explain the Qur’an to us.

 

With clear signs and Books (We sent the Messengers). And We have also sent down unto you (O Muhammad SAW) the reminder and the advice (the Quran), that you may explain clearly to men what is sent down to them, and that they may give thought.[Quran 16:44]

 

And We have not sent down the Book (the Quran) to you (O Muhammad SAW), except that you may explain clearly unto them those things in which they differ, and (as) a guidance and a mercy for a folk who believe. [Quran 16:64]

 

Let us take a look at an authentic hadith where our Beloved Prophet Muhammed Pbuh Cleary explained his verse.

 

 

It was narrated that:

Sulaiman bin Amr bin Ahwas said: “My father told me that he was present at the Farewell Pilgrimage with the Messenger of Allah. He praised and glorified Allah, and reminded and exhorted (the people). Then he said: 'I enjoin good treatment of women, for they are prisoners with you, and you have no right to treat them otherwise, unless they commit clear indecency. If they do that, then forsake them in their beds and hit them, but without causing injury or leaving a mark. If they obey you, then do not seek means of annoyance against them. You have rights over your women and your women have rights over you. Your rights over your women are that they are not to allow anyone whom you dislike to tread on your bedding (furniture), nor allow anyone whom you dislike to enter your houses. And their right over you are that you should treat them kindly with regard to their clothing and food.' ”

 

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا الْحُسَيْنُ بْنُ عَلِيٍّ، عَنْ زَائِدَةَ، عَنْ شَبِيبِ بْنِ غَرْقَدَةَ الْبَارِقِيِّ، عَنْ سُلَيْمَانَ بْنِ عَمْرِو بْنِ الأَحْوَصِ، حَدَّثَنِي أَبِي أَنَّهُ، شَهِدَ حِجَّةَ الْوَدَاعِ مَعَ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ فَحَمِدَ اللَّهَ وَأَثْنَى عَلَيْهِ وَذَكَّرَ وَوَعَظَ ثُمَّ قَالَ ‏ "‏ اسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْرًا فَإِنَّمَا هُنَّ عِنْدَكُمْ عَوَانٍ ‏.‏ لَيْسَ تَمْلِكُونَ مِنْهُنَّ شَيْئًا غَيْرَ ذَلِكَ إِلاَّ أَنْ يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُبَيِّنَةٍ فَإِنْ فَعَلْنَ فَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ ضَرْبًا غَيْرَ مُبَرِّحٍ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلاَ تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلاً إِنَّ لَكُمْ مِنْ نِسَائِكُمْ حَقًّا وَلِنِسَائِكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ حَقًّا فَأَمَّا حَقُّكُمْ عَلَى نِسَائِكُمْ فَلاَ يُوطِئْنَ فُرُشَكُمْ مَنْ تَكْرَهُونَ وَلاَ يَأْذَنَّ فِي بُيُوتِكُمُ لِمَنْ تَكْرَهُونَ أَلاَ وَحَقُّهُنَّ عَلَيْكُمْ أَنْ تُحْسِنُوا إِلَيْهِنَّ فِي كِسْوَتِهِنَّ وَطَعَامِهِنَّ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

 

 

(Sunan Ibn Majah 1851)

 

You can clearly read from the hadith at what point is a man allowed to strike his wife and for what reason.

 

 Let us break this down   

 

* - 'I enjoin good treatment of women, for they are prisoners with you, and you have no right to treat them otherwise, unless they commit clear indecency.

 

* - You have rights over your women and your women have rights over you.

 

* -  Your rights over your women are that they are not to allow anyone whom you dislike to tread on your bedding (furniture)

 

* - nor allow anyone whom you dislike to enter your houses.

 

* - And their right over you are that you should treat them kindly with regard to their clothing and food.'

 

The explanation is given in the hadith on how to treat your wives. Point one good treatment are enjoyed of woman unless they commit clear indecency. The Arabic word here for indecency is فَاحِشَةٍ [Fahisha]. Indecency may not be the correct English rendition of the word فَاحِشَةٍ  

 

So, what does فَاحِشَةٍ [Fahisha] mean? Below is a screenshot from Hans Wehr 4^th ed pp. 818

 

 

Fahsa = monstrosity, abomination, atrocity, vile deed, crime, adultery, fornication, whoredom.

 

Reading the hadith its clear that this would be speaking about a woman who is either committing adultery, fornication or whoredom, as the hadith continues by saying “they are not to allow anyone whom you dislike to tread on your bedding” nor allow anyone whom you dislike to enter your houses.

 

Now ask yourself would a righteous, devout woman bring a man to your bed when you’re not present? Rather a vile, disobedient woman would do such a hideous act. The hadith is specific on what type of woman this is implying to.  

 

Let us now go back to the Qur’an and use the same method to what the Arabic reads. The Arabic word used for “ill conduct” is  نُشُوزَ [Nushuz]

So, what does نُشُوزَ [Nushuz] mean? Below is a screenshot from Hans Wehr 4^th ed pp. 1133

 

 

Nushuz = animosity, hostility, antipathy, dissonance, discord, violation of martial duties on part of either husband or wife.

 

Using both Qur’an and Hadith we get the full picture. This verse is speaking specifically of a disobedient, malevolence, spiteful, ill conduct, vile, promiscuous fornicator who brings men to the house without the knowledge of her husband playing whoredom.  

 

Now coming to the word “strike them” Arabic word used is وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ [Wadribuhunna]. Does it mean beat them harshly? Well, a similar word is found in Surah 38 where Ayub As is instructed how to fulfil his oath by striking his wife using a hand full of grass.

 

[We said], "And take in your hand a bunch [of grass] and strike with it and do not break your oath." Indeed, We found him patient, an excellent servant. Indeed, he was one repeatedly turning back [to Allah]. (Surah 38:44)

 

Ask yourself how much damage can you cause using a hand full of grass to discipline your wife?

 

Note Surah 4:34 is referring to isolated situation  which if it ever did occur then steps have been given on how to deal with it. Even after such discovery is made the husband must still maintain a cordial manner when disciplining his wife. He can not hit her on the face nor bruise her

 

"Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have right over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed whom you do not like. But if they do that, (in that case) chastise them in a way that leaves no mark (i.e. not severe). Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner."

(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2137)

 

It was narrated from Hakim bin Muawiyah, from his father, that:

a man asked the Prophet(ﷺ): “What are the right of the woman over her husband?” He said: “That he should feed her as he feeds himself and clothe her as he clothes himself; he should not strike her on the face nor disfigure her, and he should not abandon her except in the house (as a form of discipline).” (Hassan)

 (Sunan Ibn Majah 1850)

 

In fact, the are many ahadith which encourage the husband not to beat his wives.

 

Bahz bin Hakim reported on the authority of his father from his grandfather (Mu'awiyah ibn Haydah) as saying:

 

I said: Messenger of Allah, how should we approach our wives and how should we leave them? He replied: Approach your tilth when or how you will, give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her. Abu Dawud said: The version of Shu'bah has: That you give her food when you have food yourself, and that you clothe her when you clothe yourself.

 

(Sunan Abi Dawud 2143)

 

Narrated Abu Huraira:

 

Allah 's Apostle said, "Treat women nicely, for a women is created from a rib, and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely."

 

(Sahih al-Bukhari 3331)

 

It was narrated from Ibn 'Abbas that:

 

the Prophet said: "The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives."

 

 (Sunan Ibn Majah Vol. 3, Book 9, Hadith 1977)

 

Conclusion:

Surah 4:34 is not sanctioning the beating of wives rather during an isolated situation where the wife indulges in a vile, hideous act where she turns to whoredom action is taken.