Wednesday, 6 December 2017

just for laugh


Muslim: are you allowed to eat pork?

Christian:  yes

Muslim: ? does not the Torah forbid the consumption of swine?

Christian: yes, but we are under the new Covenant with Jesus, so all food is permissible.

Muslims: ohh right!  So, you can eat Camel meat right?

Christian: NO! the Torah forbids us to eat Camel meat, unlike you Muslims.

Muslim: didn’t you say your under the new Covenant of Jesus, and all food is allowed, so why stop at the Camel.

Christians: ?!*?:1? Im busy now I have to go!



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Muslim : can you explain songs of solomon 8:8

Christian : you dont understand what it means.

Muslim : really please enlighten us.

Christian : it means when we marry christ we need to be prepared.

Muslim : marry christ?

Christian : yes marry christ.

Muslim : what is the relation with breast to marrying christ?

Christian : well the breast needs to be big when a woman gets married.

Muslim : what's it got to do with Christ?

Christians : you need the Holy Ghost to understand


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Christian : did you know Jesus came and took our sins away.

Muslim : ohh! So your sinless?

Christian : Yes! free from Satan’s evil sin, thanks to Jesus

Muslim : so does that mean your going to paradise?

Christian : Yes ! all who believe in the crucifixion and resurrection are saved and will be with Christ.

Muslim : so what’s stopping you?

Christian what do you mean?

Muslim : why don’t you just kill yourself and join Christ? Don’t you want to join your saviour?

Christian : !*~?”% cant!

Muslim : why not? It’ not like suicide it forbidden in your Bible, unless you can show us it is.

Christian : im not to converse with devil’s like you.


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Nigerian Christian : Sir, I have a problem and need your urgent assistant.

"White" Christian Missionary : What seems to be the problem?

Nigerian Christian : A Muslim guy posted on  Facebook,  Rebecca was a child bride. He used the Hebrew word "NAAR" as evidence to prove she was a child. Can you help me refute him please.

"White" Christian Missionary : can you help me with the chapter and verse

Nigerian Christian : sure, Genesis 24:57-59, I really need you to help me refute him.

"White" Christian Missionary : wait let me get back to you

Nigerian Christian : do hurry sir!

"White" Christian Missionary : The Muslim guy is correct "NAAR" does mean child or little girl. I've also consulted with my Messianic Jewish friends, experts in the Hebrew language they all agree it mean child.

Nigerian Christian : Ohh noo! What am I going to do now? I said I will refute him!

"White" Christian Missionary : I'll tell you what to do, just ignore him for now don’t even bother responding to any of his posts. Pretend you're busy with something else, he'll eventually forget what your said and won't call you up on it.


Nigerian Christian : thank you sir, god bless you


"White Christian Missionary : Shalom to you, and remember we are always here to help you. now go and preach to the nations the good news


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Muslim : does Yahweh have parents? Christian : No! Muslim : why? Christian : because he is "God" how can God have parents are you stupid! Muslim : ok the, does Jesus have a father? Christian : Yes! Muslim : and who is his father? Christian : God! Muslim : so God can have a son but not parents or grand parents? Christian : yes he can, and no he cant. listen your so confusing, im not going to engage with you anymore

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Muslim : does Yahweh hate sinners?

Christian : No! He doesn't hate sinner, He loves him. He hates the sin they do.

Muslim : so why then does he punish the sinner not the sin? wheres the love in that?

Christian : because the sinner has to pay for what he did.

Muslim : so, in reality Yahweh doesn't love the sinner. why say he hates the sin when the sinner punished?

Christian : Jesus loves you!

Muslim : i can see your changing the subject. ok where did Jesus say he love me?

Christian : read the Bible!

Muslim : i have and haven't found that saying you Christians boast!


Christian : i will pray for you

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Korede : Hi my name is Korede, im a Christian from Nigeria
Saudi Muslim : Khhhello : (trying to speak English)
Korede : I would like to talk to you about Jesus

Saudi Muslim : I don’t speak geenglish (English) Hal tatakallam ala'rabiyya? (Do you speak Arabic?)
korede : sorry?
Saudi Muslim : Hal tatakallam ala'rabiyya? (Do you speak Arabic?)
Korede : I don’t understand what your saying:
Saudi Muslim  Hal tatakallam ala'rabiyya ant ghabbih  ? (Do you speak Arabic you jackass?)


Korede : I want to talk about Jesus
Saudi Muslim : errr holly hooly holy ghoost? (Holy Ghost)
 

Korede : yes yes I have the Holy Ghost so listen to me

Saudi Muslim : you hooly ghoost (Holy Ghost ) speak in Arabic?
Korede : im sorry to disturb you

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