Act kindly towards women

Rifa'a divorced his wife whereupon 'AbdurRahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi married her. 'Aisha said that the lady (came), wearing a green veil (and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by beating). It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, 'Aisha said, "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" When 'AbdurRahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet, he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but he is impotent and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, 'Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient and wants to go back to Rifa'a." Allah's Apostle said, to her, "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa'a unless Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you." Then the Prophet saw two boys with 'Abdur-Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that 'AbdurRahman said, "Yes." The Prophet said, "You claim what you claim (i.e.. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow," Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 7, Book 72, Hadith 715

 

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

There is nothing in the mentioned hadeeth that indicates that Muslim women were tortured and beaten by their husbands and that it was common during the lifetime of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, let alone him approving or denouncing it. The statement of ‘Aa'ishah  "I have not seen anyone suffering as much as the believing women," means suffering life's hardships, according to Al-Qastallaani in his book Irshaad As-Saari Lisharh Saheeh Al-Bukhari (8/435).

‘Aa'ishah's statement, "Her skin is greener than her clothes!" may refer to the marks caused by a beating, and it may also mean that she was emaciated (very skinny). Al-‘Ayni  commented on the hadeeth, saying, "The greenness of the skin could have been because she was very skinny or because she was beaten by her husband ‘Abd Ar-Rahmaan." [‘Umdat Al-Qaari Sharh Saheeh Al-Bukhari 6/22]

Scholars brought forth this hadeeth as evidence supporting the fact that in case of an irrevocable divorce with major separation (third divorce), it is impermissible for the divorced couple to remarry until the woman marries another man and that second marriage is consummated (and she later becomes divorced or widowed and wishes to remarry her first husband). The scholars' concern for this hadeeth was in relation to this religious ruling. As for the ruling on beating wives, it is known from many other texts indicating that it is absolutely prohibited for the husband to severely beat his wife under any circumstances and that the permissible disciplinary beating is not severe and is deemed allowable in certain cases as the last resort after exhorting her and then abandoning her in bed.

It has been reported on the authority of Jaabir  that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, "…If they do that, then beat them, but without causing injury or leaving a mark." [Muslim]

The Maaliki scholar Ad-Dardeer  wrote:

"Exhortation means to gently advise the disobedient wife to obey her husband and avoid the mistakes that she is making. If exhortation proves to be ineffective, then the husband is entitled to abandon her in bed, i.e. refrain from engaging in intimacy with her, in the hope that she reconsiders her actions and refrains from her disobedience. If forsaking her in bed proved to be ineffective, then it is deemed allowable for the husband, as a last resort, to discipline her by lightly beating her without causing any physical harm. Beating in this context must be without hurting, breaking a bone, or leaving marks on the body, while avoiding hitting the face or especially sensitive places at any cost. It is impermissible for the husband to severely beat his wife even if he knew that it is the only effective way to make her stop her disobedience. If he did do so, then she is legislatively entitled to request a divorce and he is liable for Qisaas (retribution). The order of these stages of disciplining methods must be followed, and the husband should not opt for a latter method unless he believes that the former one is ineffective."

It should be noted that although it is allowable for the husband to beat his disobedient wife in certain situations, it is better to avoid doing so. Al-Bayhaqi  wrote, 

"Ash-Shaafi‘i commented on the version of the hadeeth narrated on the authority of Abu Sa‘eed, saying, 'It seems that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, forbade beating as a choice and deemed it allowable only in case he fears her aggravated disobedience and that his choice for them was that they do not beat, as he said, 'The best of you will not beat (their wives).'" [Ma‘rifat As-Sunan wal-Aathaar]

Allaah knows best.

Brother Karim replied in detail

In the above Hadith, there are few points to notice and mention:

1- The man failed to follow Noble Verse 4:34 which was sent by Allah Almighty to protect women from harmfull men.

2- The woman was trying to get back with her first husband. In Islam, if a woman gets divorced or divorces herself from her husband through the Islamic court by “Khala'”, then the only way she can get back with her husband, or her husband gets back to her is by HER MARRYING ANOTHER PERSON, HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH HIM, AND THEN GET A DIVORCE FROM HIM. This is to guarantee that divorce would not be a joke among Muslims.

3- The woman was claiming that her second husband was sexually no good. The husband disputed that, and brought his two sons from another marriage as a proof that he can perform sex. The Prophet peace be upon him then told the woman “by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow”.

4- Aisha’s opinion about the woman’s bruise doesn’t prove or disprove anything. She got angry because she saw another woman badly beaten, which is perfectly fine and acceptable. But her emotions and opinions are not Islamic Verdicts!

Many authentic hadith proof that Islam liberated women and made them free. See hadith Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 11, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Number 2138 & 2139.

In ‘Sahih Muslim, Book 018, Number 4251’ we see that a woman in islam is even allowed to take from her husband’s property without his knowledge if he falls below this basic level of supporting her. Also Umar Ibn khattab told the prophet that ‘women had the upperhand over men in Medina in’ in Sahih Bukhari,Volume 7, Book 62, Number 119′ , the prophet showed a smile after hearing this.

This clearly proofs that ayesha’s(ra) reaction was based on emotions, which is normal and perfectly fine. We also have to notice that in pre-islamic (before islam) time women were depressed by the arabs, Islam came to liberate those women and to give them many rights. Unfortunately some muslim men (still today) fail to follow the true message of Islam, instead of this they follow their evil (pagan) cultural practices and customs! , this has nothing to do with Islam! Islam honours women and clearly fobids the cruel beating of wives!

Secondly the hadith tells only one part of the incident, it doesn’t mention anything about the decision made by the prophet after this incident , simply because only one part of the story is known and written down. So it’s rediculous to say that Islam and the prophet allowed wife beating, as a matter of fact the opposite is true!

 

Noble Verses and Sayings about the prohibition of wife beating:

The following Noble Verses and Sayings from the Noble Quran and Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him respectively seem to very well support the above interpretation:

“…Do not retain them (i.e., your wives) to harm them…”(The Noble Quran, 2:231)

“If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men’s souls are swayed by greed. But if ye do good and practise self-restraint, God is well-acquainted with all that ye do.” (The Noble Quran, 4:128)

Narrated Mu’awiyah al-Qushayri: “I went to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and asked him: What do you say (command) about our wives? He replied: Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them.” (Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 11, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Number 2139)

Narrated Mu’awiyah ibn Haydah: “I said: Apostle of Allah, how should we approach our wives and how should we leave them? He replied: Approach your tilth when or how you will, give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her.”(Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 11, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Number 2138)

“on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good.” (The Noble Quran, 4:19)…..

Source: http://www.quransearch.com/karim/mistranslations_of_hadiths.htm

Note: In above response brother Karim said

2- The woman was trying to get back with her first husband. In Islam, if a woman gets divorced or divorces herself from her husband through the Islamic court by “Khala'”, then the only way she can get back with her husband, or her husband gets back to her is by HER MARRYING ANOTHER PERSON, HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH HIM, AND THEN GET A DIVORCE FROM HIM. This is to guarantee that divorce would not be a joke among Muslims

 

Divorce was not granted because the wife did not give a valid reason for a divorce. The reason she gave was this:

 

By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but he is impotent...

The husband argued that it wasn't true:

 

By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her…

 

The Prophet (SAW) decided on the side of the husband because he already had young sons so it was not possible that he was impotent:

 

You claim what you claim (i.e. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow.

 

The wife never argued for "being beaten" as a cause of the divorce.

 

We read in the Sahih Hadith where Prophet Muhammed Pbuh never beat a woman or servant

 

ولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ شَيْئًا قَطُّ بِيَدِهِ وَلَا امْرَأَةً وَلَا خَادِمًا إِلَّا أَنْ يُجَاهِدَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ

“Aisha reported that Allah's Messenger, may Allah bless him, never beat anyone with his hand, neither a woman nor a servant, but only, in the case when he had been fighting in the cause of Allah …” (Sahih Muslim, Hadith 4296)

 

Tafsir Ibn Kathir, chapter 68:

 

Imam Ahmad recorded that `A’ishah said, “The Messenger of Allah never struck a servant of his with his hand, nor did he ever hit a woman. He never hit anything with his hand, except for when he was fighting Jihad in the cause of Allah. And he was never given the option between two things except that the most beloved of the two to him was the easiest of them, as long as it did not involve sin. If it did involve sin, then he stayed farther away from sin than any of the people. He would not avenge himself concerning anything that was done to him, except if the limits of Allah were transgressed. Then, in that case he would avenge for the sake of Allah.”

From the above Hadiths you can see Aisha (RA) has reported that Prophet Muhammed Pbuh never Beat a Women or Slave. You can't get more clear then that. The allegations made by anti Muslims that Prophet Muhammed Pbuh hit his wife Aisha (RA) is a lie since Aisha (RA) has told us as recorded from the above Hadith that Prophet Muhammed Pbuh Never hit a Women. Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (3895) and Ibn Majaah (1977), also quoted in Imam Ghazzali's Ihya Ulum-Id-Din, Marriage section:

 

"The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives."

Dr shabir Ally wrote a paper the text does not mean beat your wife The word beat can be found in other text e.g., Surah 20:17-18, Moses Pbuh replied he uses his staff to BEAT THE LEAVES (Wa ahushu)

 

Prophet Muhammed Pbuh was against any man beating his wife :

Narrated 'Abdullah bin Zam'a:

The Prophet said, "None of you should flog his wife as he flogs a slave and then have sexual intercourse with her in the last part of the day."

(Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 132)

 Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (3895) and Ibn Majaah (1977), also quoted in Imam Ghazzali's Ihya Ulum-Id-Din, Marriage section:

 "The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives." 

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "Take my advice with regard to women: Act kindly towards women, for they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of a rib is its uppermost. If you attempt to straighten it; you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain crooked; so act kindly toward women".

 [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Narrated Anas bin Malik:

The Prophet was on a journey and a slave named Anjasha was chanting (singing) for the camels to let them go fast (while driving). The Prophet said, “O Anjasha, drive slowly (the camels) with the glass vessels!” Abu Qilaba said, “By the glass vessels’ he meant the women (riding the camels).”[Bukhari Volume 8, Book 73, Number 229]

Comment: Leave a side beating he forbade the camel driver to slow down.